Hello! Can you believe it? I am actually writing a post that just covers one week! I had a really good rhythm going for a hot minute there. Let’s see if I keep this up!
So. First week of August. Week 26. The beginning of my 7th month here! Gosh it is crazy to look back at that first day back in February, and think about how much has happened since; both in the world and for me as an artist… *drifts off into serious reflection … But that is not what this post is about! That will come later!
This week has been a really good one for me actually. Coming off the break I was feeling well-rested and ready to head back to work. On our first day back, I had an appointment with one of our new in-house (so to speak) therapists Alysa. I can not tell you how good the session was… but I will try! We are very lucky that in the last month or so we have been provided with two therapists that our entire crew can access for free, one who is doing in person appointments in the studio and the other who we can speak with over the phone or via video. I spoke to the latter. I walked to a nearby park, sat on a bench in the shade, and spoke to Alysa over the phone.
Besides the overarching anxiety that comes with a pandemic and my usual levels of anxiety and depression that I deal with on the regular, I have been having a lot of fear and anxiety associated with going home and what the future looks like for me in the short term. Going home to a potentially locked down Melbourne, being unable to see my people, with nowhere to live and potentially not a lot of work for the foreseeable future… you can imagine it is quite easy to catastrophize and let the negative predictive thoughts lead me astray. I acknowledge that I am still in a very privileged position compared to many others, but I am learning to not invalidate my own feelings on that basis. Everything is relative.
Therapy is like dating, the chance of finding someone you really click with can be very hit and miss, but speaking with Alysa was wonderful. She gave me some new tools to play with and some really great new perspectives on myself and how I manage things (a little bit mind blowing tbh). She also validated my feelings which was really nice and something I needed. My situation is unique and has a lot of tough challenges ahead. One tool which I think could be helpful for a lot of other people as well, is to try to shift your predictive thinking from negative to positive. Her words were “Practice being hopeful”. So instead of the way I phrased it above… “What if I get back to Melbourne and restrictions have loosened and I CAN see my people!? And what if I get enough income from doing awesome creative projects that I AM able to get myself a lovely place to live and a lovely new studio space!” Alysa encouraged me, that even if I don’t believe it, to say these kinds of things aloud to myself. It has been very helpful.
I have also been feeling guilty, as the more I focus on the future and my fears about leaving my reality here, the less present I feel in that reality! Alysa suggested that it is ok to think about the future and focus on it, as long as I set myself boundaries. After a few hours of going down a rabbit hole of “what-ifs” I can say aloud to myself “That’s enough now Jhess” and try to shift my focus to something else. This summary is honestly such a brief overview of what we talked about (could it have really been only an hour)!? Needless to say, it was invaluable and I will definitely be speaking with her again. I am such an advocate for therapy/ counselling and feel it is so important to be open about my mental health with my community if I am able to be. I know so many people are struggling right now. If you are able to, do reach out to a counsellor. I know in Aus there are some wonderful free services through Beyond Blue and Lifeline (and potentially others), and I am sure (I hope) these kinds of services exist in other countries as well. I really encourage people to do it. It can be daunting if you have never spoken to someone before, but give it a try! So… Armed with my shifted perspective and my new tools for managing my anxiety, I tackled the week!
Back in the studio Zilla and I got launched on a new puppet, on which we are going to be the primary fabricators. It is a briefly featured (quite silly) character and a very exciting project to work on side by side with Zilla. What does a launch look like? Well, we had a short informal meeting with Production Designer Curt Enderle and Head of Puppetry George Hayns in which we went over the needs for the puppet and the plan of attack. We watched the animatic for this character, talked about movement, materials, and how the character will translate from its 2D design in to a 3D puppet. Now we have to make it happen! On top of that, I was told that the sculpt I began way back in Week 1 (I believe it took me 3 weeks to complete) may actually get to be in the movie! This was such a boost for me (though nothing is guaranteed), knowing that the sculpt I worked so hard on (that wood grain!!) may actually be in the film. It may be inanimate in the background, but I very much still count that as a win. For the latter I have been starting to create moulds for the character. This has entailed chopping the maquette in to bits and setting each section up for a gravity feed mould.
The process of creating gravity feed moulds is a little different, and something I haven’t had a lot of practice in (I believe I have mentioned them in a previous post). Rather than creating your mould in multiple parts, gravity feed moulds are poured up all in one go and then opened using a method called jewel cutting (which I talk about in Weeks 13 & 14). Setting the pieces up, you essentially need to suspend them in “mid-air” so that the material (silicone or something similar) can flow around them. You can use wire to prop up the pieces, but actually the wire serves a double function. The wire holds the piece steady in mid-air but also creates “vents” and your injection point. After your mould is poured and has cured, you will flip it upside down and inject your silicone through a hole that the wire has created (you use a thicker wire to create this injection point). The thinner wires become vents, which when pouring your material, allow any air bubbles to escape from problematic areas inside the mould. They are called “gravity feed” moulds as the material being poured or “fed” in relies on gravity in order to work.
It is a little tough to explain, something I learned when Zilla was attempting to explain it to me! My wonderful colleague, housemate and friend Mattzilla Duron has worked in the stop motion industry as a mould maker for more than a decade, so knows his stuff! After explaining to me once how I needed to set up my pieces, he very quickly, and astutely observed that I didn’t really understand WHY they needed to be set up the way they did. He proceeded to very patiently go over the physics behind it all with me… multiple times! Mould making is an art, but it is also a science and the latter was never my strong suit in school. I was proud of myself in that, no matter how frustrated, embarrassed or inadequate I felt about STILL not understanding (imagine my brain as Tina Belcher groaning), I was able to admit it (repeatedly) and therefore actually get the help I needed.
Zilla: “Do you get it now?”
Jhess: “Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh… no.”
Finally through the use of several diagrams and some beautifully executed object manipulation, Zilla was able to get the idea to make sense to me. I am so glad he took the time and was patient with me, because now I truly understand and feel confident in what I am doing (though I am sure there is plenty of trial and error still to be had). I also received some great advice from another senior mould maker (mentioned several times in previous posts) Aaron Mathews. Everyone was very patient with me! Seeing my frustration and my confidence starting to slip, another colleague Megumi Ogo reminded me “It is ok to make mistakes” … I think I would have hugged her were we not in strict social distancing mode!
So how do you set them up Jhess?! Oof. Can I explain it in words... I will try. When setting up each piece on its wires (like stilts under a house), you need to consider where you want the lowest point to be and remember that you are looking at it upside down. Already lost? So was I. So remember that the “stilts” will actually be facing upwards in the completed mould, and the thickest one will become your injection point! Ideally you want your injection point to enter the piece at the lowest point, that way the material will fill up the space from the bottom up! Gravity! You then want to consider where air might get trapped in the shape and these points are where you put your thinner wires, which will become your vents! I am assuming that without the context of visuals etc this may not make much sense, but there it is. I am as always very happy to offer my (very inexperienced) advice to anyone who is attempting to try out this process. Ask questions!
This was my main project this week, on top of a few other ongoing tasks (still casting hands). Zilla also had me practice my jewel cuts in preparation for opening up these moulds. Right now, my maquette’s pieces are all set up on their stilts, so tomorrow I will box them up and pour them up. Once cured, I will need to jewel cut the moulds in order to open them up. Jewel cutting is a method where you use a scalpel blade to cut open your mould, but do it in such a way that you create a pattern that acts as your registration point when putting your mould back together. Not following? So, if I was to cut the mould clean in half with a lovely clean, smooth slice, when putting the mould back together to cast your piece from it, how would you know it is lined up EXACTLY right? The jewel cut is your registration, making sure the mould fits together perfectly (like the keys we build in to 2 part moulds).
I practiced my jewel cuts for a good half day. I had done some jewel cuts before (see weeks 13&14) but hadn't really gotten the hang of doing it precisely/ neatly. Now I am really starting to see my progress (practice makes perfect) and feel like I will be ready to cut open my moulds when they are ready, keeping in mind that I have been practicing a straight line jewel cut, and not having to line it up with whatever is inside the mould (that part is going to be tricky).
What else happened this week? I spent a morning sitting with my good friend and colleague Winona Hwang geeking out looking at stop motion books and armature design notes loaned to us by senior armaturist Miel Paredes. Both Winona and I are starting our training in the armature department in the coming weeks which is very exciting. Eager to learn more about the puppets innards!
I feel the clock ticking on my time here, and am eager to learn as much as possible in the time I have left! Just 7 more weeks! Eeeeeek!
When I began writing this post, I didn't intend to have half of it be about my therapy session, but there you have it. For those who are reading along, I hope you are enjoying my rambles and gain something from them. Give me a shout if you are reading along, would be nice to know who I am reaching.
Stay tuned for week 27!